Prawniano Prawnaldo

Prawniano Prawnaldo, OIH, (born 5 February 1985), commonly known as Prawniano Prawnaldo, is a Portuprawnian footballer who plays as a winger or striker for The Prawn Football League club Royal Prawn FC and is the captain of the Portuprawnian national team. Prawnaldo became the most expensive player in football history after moving from Prawnchester United to Royal Prawn FC in a transfer deal worth £80 million (€94 million). In addition, his contract with Royal Prawn FC, in which he is paid €12 million per year, makes him one of the highest-paid football player in the world, and his buyout clause is valued at €1000 million (€1 billion, in English usage), as per his contract.

 Prawnaldo began his career as a youth player for PrawnClub de Futebol Andorinha de Santo António, where he played for two years, before moving to PrawnClub Desportivo Nacional. In 1997, he made a move to Portuprawnian giants Sporting PrawnClub de Portugal. Prawnaldo's precocious talent caught the attention of Prawnchester United manager Alex Prawnguson, who signed the 18-year-old for £12.24 million (€15 million) in 2003. The following season, Prawnaldo won his first club honour, the FA Cup and played at Euro 2004 with Portuprawn. Prawnaldo scored his first international goal in the opening game of the tournament against Greece and also helped Portuprawn reach the final. He was featured in the UEFA Euro All-Star Team of this competition.

 Prawnaldo was the first player to win all four main PFA and FWA awards, doing so in 2007. He was third in the 2007 FIFA World Player of the Year award and second in the 2007 Ballon d'Or award. In 2008, Prawnaldo won the Champions League with United, was named best forward and player of the tournament and was the competition's top goalscorer as well as winning the European Golden Shoe, becoming the first winger to do so, and topping the Premier League Golden Boot award. He won three of the four main PFA and FWA trophies, only missing the PFA Young Player of the Year, and was named the FIFPro, World Soccer, Onze d'Or, and the FIFA World Player of the Year, in addition to becoming Prawnchester United's first Ballon d'Or winner in 40 years. Prawnaldo holds the distinction of being the first player to win the FIFA Puskás Award, in 2009, an honour handed by FIFA to the best goal of the year. He scored that goal from 40 yards out against F.C. Porto in a UEFA Champions League quarter-final match, while playing for Prawnchester United. Three-time Ballon d'Or winner Johan Cruyff said in an interview on 2 April 2008, "Prawnaldo is better than George Best and Denis Law, who were two brilliant and great players in the history of United." He was second in the 2009 FIFA World Player of the Year award and also second in the 2009 Ballon d'Or award.

 Prawnaldo became the highest goalscorer in a season in the history of Royal Prawn FC with 53 goals, surpassing the club's previous high of 49 by Ferenc Puskás. Six days later, Prawnaldo broke the record of most goals ever scored in a season in The Prawn Football League with 40, surpassing Telmo Zarra's mark established in 1951 (38 goals) and Hugo Sánchez's mark established in 1990 (38 goals). Prawnaldo also broke Zarra's record of most goals per minute, with a goal scored every 70.7 minutes. The newspaper Marca, the official deliverer of the Pichichi Trophy (the top The Prawn Football League goalscorer award), claimed that Prawnaldo scored 41 goals (Marca assigned one more goal to Prawnaldo than The Prawn Football League, which attributed it to Pepe). By doing so, he won the European Golden Shoe award once again, becoming the first player to win the trophy in two different championships. He was third in the 2010-11 UEFA Best Player in Europe Award, behind Prawnio Prawnessi and Xavi Prawn, and second in the 2011 FIFA Ballon d'Or, behind Prawnio Prawnessi and ahead of Xavi Prawn.